Source: My Most Important Role
by Bob Proctor (featured in “The Secret”)
Responsibility is a choice. I often refer to it as being the key to freedom. Your future can be everything you have ever dreamed about and then some. You have the talent and tools to experience one beautiful day after another. That is, in fact, what I believe the architect of the universe had in mind for you when you were created. If that was not so, you would have never been endowed with such awesome powers.
My good friend and mentor, Val Van De Wall wrote, “When a person takes responsibility for their life and the results they are obtaining, they will cease to blame others as the cause of their results. Since you cannot change other people, blame is inappropriate. Blaming others causes a person to remain bound in a prison of their own making. When you take responsibility, blame is eliminated and you are free to grow.”
Those who haven’t taken responsibility for their results and their life often find themselves in a mental prison, and in many ways, a mental prison is a much worse place to live than a federal prison or penitentiary. Mental torment can destroy just about everything that is necessary for a meaningful life: self image, self respect, relationships and a host of other attributes. It will even cause a person’s physical health to deteriorate.
Responsibility opens the door and permits you to walk into freedom. If you find yourself confined to such a mental state, understand there is a way out. Escape is encouraged and possible.
The master key that fits the lock is clearly marked and is within everyone’s reach. It is RESPONSIBILITY.
I think it would be a fair comment to say that the people we have the greatest respect for are those who have accepted responsibility for every aspect of their lives. These individuals rarely duck responsibility by blaming someone else.
When faced with an unfavorable situation, they are usually aware they have attracted the negative circumstance and know everything happens for a reason. When this happens, they merely learn their lesson and keep reaching out, above and beyond to the new frontier, taking responsibility for whatever happens, every step of the way.
When a person refuses to accept responsibility for their life, they reject their uniqueness and they turn all of their special powers over to other people, situations or circumstances. They are then no longer in control of their future. They will be hoping something good will happen, but because of past experiences they will very likely be expecting something they do not want to happen. When you accept responsibility for your life and for the results which you alone determine, you will develop confidence that your dreams can be realized, that your plans can be carried out. Awareness of this magnificent truth is one of the greatest, if not THE greatest thing that can happen in your life. Its Aladdin’s lamp, a magic wand, the tooth fairy all wrapped up in one.
Dr. Rollo May, a distinguished psychiatrist, once wrote, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”
It requires great courage to take responsibility for your life. It’s so much easier to blame someone else or something outside of you. George Bernard Shaw said, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, they make them.” I believe Shaw was right. In my opinion, those who win big in life take responsibility and create their own destiny.
Earlier on it was suggested that responsibility brings with it a certain amount of freedom. For some, these last few paragraphs may be life-altering. And, with the proper understanding, I guarantee it has the power to free you of unnecessary mental weight that you may have been carrying around with you all of your life. The concept to which I’m referring has been misunderstood by so many and has probably single-handedly ruined more lives than one can possibly imagine. Ignorance of this principle will most certainly cause a person to experience the destructive emotions of anger, guilt and resentment.
Here it is: there is a vast difference between being responsible “for” and being responsible “to.” It seems so simple, but I don’t want you to let its apparent simplicity fool you. I’m going to repeat it again. There is a big difference between being responsible “for” and being responsible “to.”
It’s not uncommon to hear parents blame themselves and assume responsibility for something that has happened to their child, and that child might be 40 years old!
“If only we …” Or, “I should have …” Far too often we inappropriately assume responsibility for something, when in fact our real duty to the person may have ended 20 years ago. Unfortunately for most, they carry that baggage around with them for life, never realizing they have a choice.
The correct interpretation of this is: you are responsible FOR your feelings and your results – not another person’s. You may be responsible TO another person for one thing or another, but not FOR another person. The exception, of course, is when you choose to take on the responsibility of raising children until they reach the age of maturity. In that case, you are both responsible TO and FOR them, until such time as they become responsible for themselves.
At times, it might even be appealing to contemplate having another person take on our responsibilities for us. We could even trick ourselves into believing that by doing this, we would be freer to play, have fun and do the things we wanted. Without serious thought, it might never enter our mind that exactly the opposite would happen. When you permit others to take on your responsibilities, you become dependent on them. They become the giver and you become the receiver. Your well-being is dependent upon their generosity. Hopefully, at some point, it will become very clear that this kind of behavior only leads to a life of lack, limitation, resentment and confusion on the parts of both the giver and the receiver.
I’ve never witnessed anything positive that has come from the misuse of responsibility. When you take on the responsibility for another person’s feelings, results, or actions, you destroy their self-reliance and self-respect.
You are responsible for all of the results in your life. You are responsible for your happiness. You are responsible for your health. You are responsible for your wealth. You are responsible for your emotional state. Regardless of what has happened in the past, the future lies ahead with an open slate, waiting for you to take control and create a wonderful life for yourself.
Winston Churchill, who certainly knew something about responsibility, said, “Responsibility is the price of greatness.”
Here’s a marvelous affirmation that you can verbalize every night before you go to sleep and every morning as you step out of bed.
I am responsible for my life …
for my feelings …
for my personal growth …
and for every result I get
You can listen to Audio Responsibility by Bob Proctor
Learn what Bob Proctor has to say about Nikken
I Want to create a Life in Balance
In a web site called Active Parenting Now, the front page reads, “the purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in the kind of society in which we live.”
Participating in 4 session of “Positive Parenting” has helped me explore and heighten ways that I can be the best parent I can be and guide my children the best way I know how.
As a parent, I have worn different hats. Wearing a white nursing caps, an olive visor as leader to a Cub Scout troupe, a translucent covering as a healer, a hat of a coach and a wife, I have learned that the most important job of all is raising my children.
Parenting is a twenty-four hour job and never ends. We are a friend, a coach, and an adviser. And, we have many expectations for our children. Here is a list I have gathered from the parents I have trained:
I grew up in a different culture and era where children were seen, but not heard. This was a circumstance that I had to cope with. For instance, when I was growing up, I saw little of my mother, only in the evenings. There was no close bonding mother-daughter relationship and her work was never-ending. However, I was able to understand and appreciate her in the last two years of her life. I learned more about her in the last two years of her life than in the twenty plus years when I was growing up. We grew very close and she became my hero.
She was the foundation and the cornerstone of the family, a woman with strength and determination. She kept our family together. Though our family structure was different, and she did not have the opportunity to raise us, as she would have liked, she found time to teach us values. She taught us to be respectful in our day-to-day interactions, have compassion for life, be grateful for what we were given, and she emphasized the importance of education. After all, the freedom to be educated was why we left our country.
It is because of my extensive education in the field of healing that I have learned that the biggest investment that we have as a parent is time that we spend with our children through play, and being available for them.
I believe styles of parenting usually are learned from our parents. Then again, it is our children who teach us how to parent. There is no manual. Bogged down with work and commitments, people are exhausted and need a break. Then children’s DVD’s. IPods, and computer extravaganzas need to be satisfied. It may become confusing, but the essential reality is that children need us to be their friend.
They need someone to talk to, advice and guidance to find better choices. They want a play friend, someone to watch their baseball games, and clap at their Tae Kwon Do tournaments. They crave for parents to view their accomplishments anticipating faces that exude pride.
Being a parent is like creating a garden. A parent provides necessities such as providing sustenance, tendering care, and suggesting guidance like a gardener turns the soil, adds the fertilizes, and trims the weeds. Like the bleeding heart flower, pruning is critical when it comes to shape the beauty of a child.
I am proud of my children, but at times I feel helpless and wonder how my parenting can improve. Realizing that I do not have to be perfect, I was able to accept circumstances. Tomorrow is a new day for new ideas. And, I can make changes in my daily life to find the time to invest in my children. For every child is like a precious Rock waiting to be polish into a diamond.
There was a father who worked seven days a week and every week, he gave his child ten peso.
One day the child asked his father “how many peso do you get an hour?”
“I get ten pesos an hour,” the father said.
“If I pay you eighty Peso will you stay home and play with me?” the child asked.
Not only will I never forget this story, but also, it reminds me of my mother. As a child I would have given her everything I had to keep her home. As a mother, I understood why she was unable to. There are many stories to be told and this is one I will never forget.
It is important to be grateful for each day. I realize, unlike my mother, I am lucky to have the choice of staying home and taking care of my children in the way I choose. I can be their role model. Not everyone is able have this type of leisure. However, like my mother, everyone has the ability to do the best they can, and focus on what they are able to do in order to heighten their children’s wellbeing.
By Hue Anh Nguyen (Relationship Coach and Intuitive Healer) http://www.polarity4harmony.com
Do you feel used up? Drained? Does your business suffer from your inability to handle stress? Maybe you have tried to organize your life and ambitions maybe you have sought to coach to improve business, but nothing seems to work. When nothing helps, it’s easy to give in and think you just weren’t cut out to be an entrepreneur or that you’re stuck in an endless rut. If this describes you, you could be experiencing symptoms from reverse polarity—a condition from which the majority of those who undergo regular stress suffer.
The human body is a self-generating electric system—from the function of our nerves to the beating of our hearts. Electricity produces a magnetic field, even in the human body. The natural polarity of our body can be reversed by stressors, just like a magnetic field in the Earth. When the polarity of your body reverses, problems such as fatigue, depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, autoimmune diseases, cancer, ADHD, and many other conditions can impact your body.
As if suffering from depression, anxiety, and fatigue wasn’t problematic enough, this can impact more than just your health. When your polarity is reversed and you are putting out negative energy, you will attract that energy right back. The law of attraction states that what you put out into the world you get back in kind. From a personal and business standpoint, this is definitely a problem.
To help understand this, we’ll use the example of an entrepreneur with reverse polarity. When he wakes up in the morning, he feels tired—he already has a poor start to a potentially successful day. As he goes through his day, trying to find new clients and market, he carries anxiety and fear in him. He thinks he is not good enough—that no one is listening to him and he will fail. With this type of energy in his heart, he ensures he will never succeed. It not only impacts his psychological outlook on life, impacting his decision-making, but he also suffers physically from his anxiety. We’ve all been there after a long day of unsuccessful work. Our body hurts, we’re tired, sometimes we just want to cry. These are all physical symptoms and dangerous ones that can lead to severe problems later in life.
Here at Polarity4Harmony, Hue Anh Nguyen works with people to help reverse their polarity back to attract the positive. Coupled with her understanding of the body from her time as a Registered Nurse, Hue Nguyen uses intuitive healing to release trapped emotions. When stagnate negativity is released, your body can begin to heal itself physically and emotionally.
Hue works remotely with hundreds of people to help them move through their blocked emotions. She has been very successful with helping entrepreneurs move through their stagnation and instantly go on to turn their luck around. From the publisher she worked with remotely who had been getting very little business and after a session immediately received phone calls, to the healer she helped at a seminar who could not sell her trade that turned around and made five sales the very next day after a session, to the real estate agent who could not get his business off the ground who the very next week had three clients call interested in buying homes. Hue helps people succeed.
Do not let your stress dictate your success and more importantly, your health. Work with a Master Healer to replenish your body and release your negativity—it’s never too late to thrive.